#6 Friendship Beyond Distance
Honouring the deep connections that transcend miles and time.
Have you ever wondered why you’re friends with someone? What was it about that human that ignited thoughts, feelings, and sensations in you that told you, “Yes, I want to connect with that human being and have them around in my life.”?
Honestly, I haven’t reflected on these questions that deeply myself. But here I am and here are you, so let’s do it together, shall we?
The patterns I notice among those humans who I’ve come to consider as BFFs are the following:
It’s a person I highly admire - they have dared to take risks in their lives, reinvented themselves repeatedly, and are going for what they want and speaking out about what they believe in. They’re also open-minded and self-reflective. These people inspire me and I could listen to them talk for hours and hours. At some level, I believe this feeling is mutual. These people are inspired by me and there’s this energetical exchange happening which keeps us coming back for more and more.
It’s a person who listens and asks questions because it’s all about balance in the end. As much as I can listen non-stop to their stories, ideas, and perspectives, these people also proactively ask me about my stories, ideas and perspectives and actively listen to what I have to say.
It’s a person whom I feel safe with to be myself - my whole self. Or at least as much of my whole self as I am currently allowing myself to be around other people. It’s that emotional comfort, like your heart is being wrapped in a fluffy blanket and you can allow to drop it and they will catch.
It’s a person with who I can talk about painting a tree with my period blood, sex dreams, fear of traumatising my child as well as interior design, entrepreneurship and moving countries.
It’s a person who I laugh together with.
These people don’t come along on my path every day however I’ve been lucky to collide with a few along my 35-year journey here on earth.
With these people, time stands still and at the same time, it flies by. There is a neverending pool of topics to talk about. The internal jokes are many and the belly laughs match that amount. It’s a warmth spreading throughout my whole body, be it sitting in a restaurant, cooking together, having a coffee or chilling on the sofa. There’s nothing else that exists in the moment besides our connection.
I have a handful of these BFFs in my life at this moment.
What breaks my heart however is that most of them aren’t physically close to where I am. Technology is a great tool to nurture and maintain relationships but it’s not the real deal - sitting face to face and being able to hug that beautiful human in front of you.
Some I’ve met through school and at some point we both moved along on our journeys to build our grown-up lives.
Some I’ve met through jobs and at some point we both moved along on our journeys to build our careers.
Some I’ve met in different countries and at some point we both moved along on our journeys to find a country to call home.
As much as it hurts that they are far away I know that it’s exactly this drive of following their dreams, to do what they want, that I admire so deeply and is one of the key reasons to why I even call them my BFFs.
As much as I know this, it still hurts to be parted and not experience the mundane everyday life of each other and with each other. Be it saying a quick hello as we pick up kids together. Be it dropping off some magazines that are no longer needed and will serve as art material. Be it coming over to pick up the extra key as I’ve locked myself out.
I don’t have a solution to offer. There’s nothing to fix here. The fact that I at some point in time have experienced those mundane everyday moments with those humans resulting in us staying friends despite any physical distance is already a blessing in itself. I ask myself where would I be without those encounters, without those humans and at the same time I do not wonder. The past is the past, what is is. Where I can focus is where I want to go from here.
I’m putting this experience out in the ether with the hope that it will bring peace to myself and you—you, who can relate.
All the warmth,
Viktoria